It's all in the Eyes

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Today's Lesson: Punishment Spanking

Continued from: Maintenance Spanking

[Domestic Discipline] [spanking] [Ff/m] [corner time] [humiliation] [OTK] [severe]

Riddle me this...

How do you truly punish a submissive via spanking, who's kink is to be spanked? 

Does someone need to be sobbing, in order for it to be a punishment? (Those look like crocodile tears)

Does the aftermath of someone's bum need to look like this, before it's truly a punishment? Using my previous scale of severity, do I just start at a ten, with no warm up at all?  

None of the above, actually. It's all in the demeanour of the person administering the spanking. 

For maintenance, the nice weekly or monthly reset I covered in the last post, you could even call it a therapeutic spanking - it's not only just the physical and emotional sensations of the experience, but also about the words I'm using. 

"You're doing so well Russell, Mommy is proud of you for asking to be spanked. It's okay to need to be over my lap from time to time, there's no shame in it, young man." 

And then I'm going to take Russell's maintenance spanking all the way to his limits, push those limits a little bit, until he is wishing it was over and feeling it for days. 

If I was going to punish Russell for something, I'm going to take Russell's punishment spanking all the way to his limits, push those limits a little bit, until he is wishing it was over and feeling it for days. I purposely repeated myself and in either scenario, he's going to be met with the same view: 

So what changes about my approach? What makes it a punishment? 

My words do: 

"I can't believe you forgot to..."

"How many times have I reminded you to..."

"I was twenty minutes late for that meeting because of your..."

"If you're gonna act like a naughty little boy, I intend to treat you like one." 

Or the worst possible scold of all time, amidst a spanking from a maternal or paternal disciplinarian: 

"You've really disappointed me..."

Other than the way I am speaking, the spanking will be administered in the same manner as the last post, building layer upon layer of colour and sting, so Russell is reminded of and feels the effects of his misbehaviour for days afterwards, which is no different than how I want his bum to feel after a maintenance spanking. 

Might I add some minutes to his corner time, given that it is a punishment and not maintenance? Yes, I probably would ensure he's in timeout for thirty minutes on either side of his spanking. Might I mix in the use of a cane where I would otherwise have used my slipper, a bath brush instead of a wooden spoon? Quite likely indeed. 

There are some aspects of punishment that are actually different than maintenance, not just my words, and it goes back to the riddle at the beginning. How do you punish someone via spanking, if they're into being spanked? You're going to have to do something that is actually unpleasant that they would want to avoid in the future, at all costs. 

One hour in the timeout corner, a mouth soaping, writing lines, a ginger fig, grounded to a room, a witnessed spanking...all while keeping things still in the admin, domestic discipline side of the house. And...does the punishment fit the crime? Did Sarah Jane just mouth-off to me over something silly? Is that why she has a red bum and a bar of Ivory in her mouth? 

If Sarah Jane is required to be in high heels in her maid attire and I catch her in flats, would I give her a mouth soaping? Probably not. I would likely punish the soles of her feet. 

Russell actually got a doozy the other day, a real one! And just like the structure of maintenance, he was told he was getting a spanking, why he was getting a spanking and when it would be happening. When he also learned that Summer would be present to witness the spanking, that's when the begging and pleading started, kissing at my feet and hoping for an alternative option. 

Winter in Canada is not survivable without chapstick. It's what we have to do, all winter long, to stay alive. Russell usually has one in his pocket at all times. When he forgets to remove this from his pocket, before his pants end up in the laundry, then the chapstick gets washed too. I've warned him about this many times! 

Washing a chapstick, no big deal. The dryer on the other hand, with my clothing also in it, with Summer's clothing also in it... 

This is Summer's new Aritzia trackie, which now looks like it came into contact with a pepperoni pizza slice. A pair of leggings of mine, now peppered with these grease stains also. This was the scene of the crime. Naturally I brought Russell to the scene to have a little "chat" about not only this occurrence, but the other times I have repeatedly told him to check his pockets before he does the laundry. 

I had him go fetch a chair from the adjacent office, bring it into the laundry room and position it for OTK. The wooden clothing brush hanging from the wall behind me was my implement of opportunity and I was pissed! But...never spank when you're angry... 

I took a breath and hung the brush back on the hook, abandoning that idea. I brought Russell over my knee and smacked him on his jeans while I continued to scold. 

After a few dozen smacks I helped him to his feet and sent him to his room like a child. 

"You are to remain in your room," I coldly explained, my tone now calm and confident. "I will be up to punish you in a little while."

And now, go back and read the last post because I am right back here again. Implement plan, spanking plan, order, location and positioning, right?

About one hour after I sent him to his room to stew in his own shame and embarrassment, I clicked towards the closed door and opened it, finding him seated on the bed with his head down. 

"Strip, and go stand in the corner, hands on your head." My words were direct, strict...enough to frenzy anyone's butterflies with my no nonsense approach. Once I had him down to just his cock cage, his nose buried in the corner, I took my time clicking in and out of the room in my commanding heels, setting things up, dragging in a chair, arranging my implements. 

As a co-victim of the chapstick incident, I called Summer upstairs to witness Russell's spanking, the humiliation alone, sealing the deal that this would be a true punishment for him. And again, I'm right back to the structure of my last post, set one, position one, set two, different room, different position, and so on. 

I gave him thirty minutes of corner time when his spanking was over, down in the living room near the large picture windows, while Summer and I just watched TV like it was a normal Tuesday night in a female-led, domestic discipline, BDSM relationship. He's lucky Sarah Jane wasn't here, I would have had her watch too, she was out for dinner with some friends. 

I don't mean to turn into Buzz Killington here, people, but the reality is, punishment spankings don't actually occur that often. Everyone in my household, my wife included, knows the rules and with very, very few exceptions, everyone abides by them. Masturbation is a big one for me, but the girls know better and behave, and I keep Russell's penis locked in a chastity cage, he can't misbehave in that manner if he wanted to.  

Over at Miss Julie's blog, she tried it once, for real. She and her hubby created and signed a domestic discipline contract, spelling out the terms of how and when SHE would be physically corrected, punished or "consequenced", as she put. 

I love the idea, it's an additional layer of control and vulnerability, a looming specter in the relationship that helps to govern the submissive's behaviour. It would have been so exciting for them to create and sign together. 

Another important aspect of punishment spanking is that it needs to be immediate, or very closely linked in time, to the time of the offence, otherwise it just loses its luster. So to engage in a successful domestic discipline relationship with real rules and real consequences, you need unwavering access to the spankee you are responsible for, which Julie and her hubs had.   

Have a look at her posts from that period of time and her DD contract: 

Julie's DD Contract Signed  

Spoiler alert: it didn't work for Julie and David. 

Do you know what Julie realized? One, she has a spanking kink and with the new contact in place, she wasn't being spanked at all. Because...two...she realized she doesn't mess up and is generally well behaved. *shrug* 

They abandoned the DD contract and just went back to doing "scenes" together.

Well, fuck...now what? How does a spanko get that spanking fix they so desperately crave, if they are a well behaved submissive? Role play scenes? - Maybe...

Maintenance! Again...back to the previous post. 

Personally, I think a healthy blend of rules and structure with very clear consequences is nice to have as a baseline of a DD dynamic, combined with the understanding that Summer, Sarah Jane and Russell, all need maintenance discipline in their lives. Call it therapy, call it someone pressing your reset button or emptying your cup when it's full, even call it foreplay...it's needed, even for me sometimes to be on the receiving end.  

Adult spankings come in many forms, do what works for your own dynamic, do it safely and do it sanely. 

I'll leave you with a little blast from the past, the true OGs of punishment spankings from back in the day. "Teen" Jessica and "teen" Brandi from the Real Spankings Network. Oh boy, those two girls got their asses beat! It was serious punishment, but fabricated by roleplay for the purposes of their productions. It was truly some of the best content of that period of time. 

Sitting on a bed, head down in shame, waiting to be punishment-spanked as an adult...sound familiar? 

Link to this video: Spanking Teen Brandi

I don't think they follow my severity system of starting at one and building to eight. I think she basically starts at a ten!

You were a trooper Brandi! 

Some quick reference cards provided below. 

 

Should I even cover role play spankings? Or is that pretty self-explanatory? Let me know in the comments. 

Like, I've been sent home with a note from school, to give to my Daddy? That sorta role play?

Mistress Andrea

xoxo 

 

 

  

 

 

Today's Lesson: Maintenance Spanking

Continued from: The Duality of BDSM

[spanking] [domestic discpline] [F/f] [F/m]

Welcome back to another lesson, everyone, where I will continue along the same thread of defining and breaking down my wonderful world of D/s relations. 

Last time, I illustrated and explained that my D/s world has two distinct sides, two buckets if you will. 

Mandatory (admin)

It's non-sexual, she is using an implement of opportunity in this one, being her slipper. I'm sure there is another implement of opportunity in her purse which may come next. It's real, it's domestic, it is the spanking of an adult male by an adult female. It's perfect and it is often times, a form of anticipation or foreplay to what comes next.  

Electives (ops)

Now things are sexualized. I won't return to "admin" again, for the rest of the session, even though some impact play directed at the buttocks could still occur. There will be no more official cornertime, no hairbrush over-the-knee...we did that already and if I did my job correctly, the bare bum should be good for several days!

I want that vibrancy of colour to remain for his full thirty minutes of cornertime. When we move onto ops, the numbness of his bum, caused by repeated impact will have faded away, leaving only the delicious sting that will linger for the next phases of whatever I want to do to him. By bedtime, the red will have faded to pink and I still want the colour to remain well into the next day and begin to fade by day two. 

The way I achieve this is not by spanking harder, it's by spanking longer. Lengthy, drawn-out admin sessions, to build layer upon layer on and into the bare bum, and I remain within those domestic-type parameters to keep things clearly on the admin side of the house. 

Can I use specialized furniture on the admin side, to better present and display the bare bottom? 

Sure I can! 

One of my favourites, a flat bench position with the hips bolstered and bottom elevated for a belt or strap. Can I use bondage on the admin side, to make the spankee feel more vulnerable, more helpless? 

Absolutely I can and I will! 

Should I give Summer a spanking on her bare bum, with a hairbrush, while she's trussed up in this contraption, a fucking machine working her pussy, a gag in her mouth? 

A very lovely setup but, no...because now I've entered into the ops side of things and the lines will become blurred between the two. End one first, then start the other.

Do you absolutely need to do one before the other? Nope...but I have found the best results by doing admin before ops. Can you do admin without the ops or ops without the admin? Sure, you totally can, it's all flexible. 

But if you consider the admin side to be the foreplay for the ops side, this is where the real magic happens. Where you hear things like, "omg, that's never happened to me before!" As a trembling submissive describes an orgasm they just had, that was so ferocious they surprised even themselves. 

So, allow me to tie this all together and recap the maintenance spanking, I'll use my wife, Summer as our example. 

Step 1: 

Summer is informed, well ahead of time, that she will be receiving a maintenance spanking on Sunday evening, at 7:00PM. She is told how to dress and present herself and is told where she is to report at 7:00PM. Whether it is a day before or a few hours before her session, her butterflies will be stewing with anticipation. 

Step 2: 

Summer sheepishly arrives in her designated outfit, which is usually an age-regressed style, and she acknowledges why she is there. "Mommy, I'm here for my spanking," is a common line I hear from her mouth. If it's a pinup dress, hose and pearls, Summer will instinctively address me as "Mommy". If it's corporate lady boss attire, pant suit style or pencil skirt, she will call me "Ma'am'.

As for my demeanour, I'll be maternal and soothing. Summer will be encouraged, she will be told that it's okay to need this, that she is brave for asking for this dynamic, that she is loved, cared for and will be supported during this vulnerable ordeal. 

Step 3: 

I will have Summer stand in the corner, reminding her of the consequences for moving or making a sound during her timeout. From standing to kneeling corner time, a bare bum, a pantied bum and the positioning of her arms and body for this, I usually change up week-to-week. The duration for maintenance, is typically fifteen to twenty minutes before her session begins. 

Step 4: 

This is where I will take my time, slowly clicking around the room and house, setting things up for the impending spanking. If there is a nice flat bench in another room, I'll prepare a bolster for her hips and lay out the implements that correspond with that position, I chose a belt and two leather straps. 

In the living room, another array of implements will be prepared and displayed, along with the quintessential straight-backed chair. 

I would have set a timer for Summer's timeout, so at this point I'll check that, I want her to experience the vulnerability of a good 15 - 20 while I take in the rooms I've staged, specific areas to be used and the implements prepared. 

From the previous post the most successful order I use is: hand, leathers/synthetics, wood, hand. I was also using a scale of severity that was simple 1 through 10, as it relates to each implement but I kept stopping at 8. Longer not harder, right? 

Step 5: 

Now it becomes my spanking plan, quite literally like a script, where I take each of these sets from severity level one, up to about a five or six until the session progresses. And I'm going to do that twice. So think about it like one set, two reps.  

OTK hand - panties up

    (level one up to five)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to six)

OTK hand - panties down

    (level one up to five)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to six)

Arm of couch - leather paddle 1

    (level one up to five)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to six)

Over back of chair on tiptoes - leather paddle 2

    (level one up to five)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to six)

*dress off - panties off - bra off* (just personal preference at this point)

Diaper pose couch - leather paddle 3

    (level one up to five)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to seven) - note the gradual increase in intensity

Flat bench belt

    (level one up to six)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to seven)

Flat bench strap 

    (level one up to seven)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to eight)

*remember the care and encouragement - "you're doing so well, Summer, it's ok if you need to cry. We have a bit further to go with you today. You know this is for your own good, Summer."

OTK hairbrush

    (level one up to seven)

    (back to the beginning at one and bring her up to eight)

*her breathing, the presence of visible perspiration, her pleas to have the spanking end - should all be good indicators that we are in fact nearing the end.

OTK hand 

(level one up to six)

(back to the beginning at one and bring her up to six)

*rubbing and kneading of the bare bum, I'm spreading out her colour for evenness and using my hand to redden any areas that are lacking

(I might do a third or fourth rep here, so Summer can feel everything coming to an end)

(Rep 3: a one up to a five)

(Rep 4: a one up to a four)

I'd be happy if I was looking down at her over my knee and seeing this. 

Nice, even distribution of colour. No angry welts or wrap-around marks and just a touch of white, ashy splotches at the sit-spots, where more attention was paid with the brush. The thighs were a bit neglected in this image, that would be my only criticism...you want to extend this redness just below the curve of the bum also. Overall, very well done though. 

Judge your own situation and your own knowledge of your submissive, but for me, this is not the time for aftercare, not yet. Summer will be going back to the corner as the admin side of the session is still running. I might tell her how long her sentence in the corner shall be, I might not, but for maintenance, again, a nice 15-20 should do and the bum will always be bare and displayed for this, no matter what her state of dress or undress. If there are other people in the house who might witness her in this state, even better! 

Again, I'll time this out and when the timer draws to a close, then it's all about the aftercare, baby lotion with her draped over my knees on the couch. She will be thankful and grateful that I care so much about her to spank her like this, when she needs it. 

At this stage she will be vulnerable, she will have experienced involuntary arousal during her timeout. Now the ops can start to creep in a little, as she kneels to kiss my high heels, my feet, in appreciation for spanking her. I'll encourage her to masturbate as her tongue glides effortlessly along the soles of my hosed feet. She'll help me out of my panties, relieve me of my panties and politely ask to go down on me. Next thing you know I'm dressed in leather, wearing a strap-on and we have successfully made a smooth transition from admin to ops. 

I'll leave you with a final thought to contemplate and a teaser to quite likely, the next post. 

Punishment spanking...

So what's the difference between what I just described above and a punishment spanking? Clearly it must be longer, harder...right? 

Wrong. 

The only difference is in the way I'm speaking to her during the session. 

Noodle that one around, until next time. 

Mistress Andrea

xoxo

Continued in: Punishment Spanking