I'm glad Summer was at work, because right now I was up on my bed, having a bit of moment. After meeting Sarah I wanted nothing more than to help her. She seemed like a really good person, who had some dark desires and needs to unpack, but with a male Dom.
I knew one once. A long time ago...
I must have had a mixture of longing and sadness on my face as I lay upstairs, debating with myself whether or not to message him.
It was over a decade ago, when I first met Russell. We carried on a clandestine relationship for a number of years until one day, we broke each other's hearts. Yet, we were never in love. Figure that one out.
What we were in love with, was the illusion of happiness that we created together, the escape. The things we did were real, it felt real, but our reality was clouded by fantasy.
When Russ and I were together, colours were brighter, food tasted better and pleasures were like nothing I had ever experienced. No bills to pay, no rent was due. We just escaped from reality together, for hours at a time.
In the beginning, I spent a lot of time here, in my little bedroom of the day, and a lot of time across his knee, having my bottom thrashed with that awful wooden hairbrush.
Tender moments came next, aftercare and snuggles, before this escalated into lingerie, me in a ballgag, collar and ass plug, and being wildly fucked from behind.
He was my first experience with D/s, spanking and kinks. He taught me everything there was to know about my submissive kinks that I didn't know I had.
I recall him always reminding me, that you shouldn't do anything Dommey to anyone, unless you have first experienced it as a sub. I trusted him completely for this reason, I knew he had pervious experiences with Domme women and was likely the recipient of that hairbrush many times.
I finally understood the meaning of this, when one day, after we had exhausted and explored all of my submissive role, he asked me to switch for him. I was apprehensive at first, exclaiming that I wouldn't know what to do.
"Of course you will Andrea, you've just done it all from the other side." He would say.
Well let me tell you, once I found my groove, I liked THIS side of things!
Pampered, waited on, treated like a Goddess. My sexual needs always came first, pun intended. Who would have ever guessed that I'd enjoy having my toes sucked on or my asshole licked.
Those became two of my favourite activities actually! I always felt amazing with Russ kneeling at my feet, he had created a monster.
There was no longer any switching with us, as the mood struck, I was his exclusive dominant Goddess, I loved it and he loved it.
By no fault of anyone's things just changed and evolved in both of our lives. We weren't having regular sessions anymore and we began to just naturally drift apart, with no hard feelings or regrets.
He would blush and absolutely die of bashfulness if he heard me say this, because he's a very modest person, but I think I turned my attention to women because I knew I wouldn't find another man like him.
*sigh...corny I know! That's just me...being a hopeless romantic sometimes.
Things have been going well on that front, if you have been reading along, I have a beautiful wife named Summer and a thriving business. Within that business there is a whole other cast of characters to keep me pleased, entertained and financially sound.
As for Russ, I had no idea what he was up to. It had been years since we last spoke.
I think he has too much of a soft spot for women and a tender heart, to do some of the things that Sarah is looking for at my Facility. But, like I said, there is no one else on Earth I would trust with this.
Here goes...
Goddess Andrea 💓
xoxo
Continued in: The Journal
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